Confession
by Iwantnoname
Summary: Vilkas is falling for one of the new members of the Companions. However, it is another man and it had him scared and confused. Will this man accept his feelings?


**This is sort of a small writers challenge I did for myself. I couldn't see Farkas or Vilkas loving another man, so I decided to try and write a one shot where they were confessing their love to a member of the same sex. It sort of got away from me and I think I failed, but none the less here it is. Also I moved this from my master account to here. I am not stealing my own work. **

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Vlikas tapped his fingers on the small end table beside the chair he was slouched in. His gaze was locked on to the Imperial, Gaius, that was talking to his brother. He didn't really regard people with race, or least he tried not to. He didn't have issues with Imperials on a whole, but this one; this one made his blood boil, and not just in the angry sort of way either. Which was the problem; he did things to Vilkas, that no man has ever done, and he wasn't even touching him. How Gaius made his heart race from just being in the same room, and caused a burning sensation in his nether region, that before he came along only women could do. To make things worse Vilkas wasn't in his armor, but rather in a normal simple tunic, so he felt even more naked and helpless then normal around the Imperial.

There was something about him that made the Nord go wild. Gaius was like all Imperials it seemed, soft spoken, yet firm. He kept his hair long like Farkas' and his eyes were the color of honey. He was charismatic, and generally in a good mood, unlike him. He was protective of all his shield siblings and knew a little bit of restoration magic, which he used on if anyone asked with in the hall with no hesitation. Women swooned over his sharp and toned look, and his calm demeanor. Though, no one else could tell, Vilkas could tell you which arm was Gaius' shield arm, even before he saw him use one. He noticed the difference in muscle tone on his right arm. Come to think of it, Vilkas never saw Gaius angry. He was smart and looked to read as much as Vilkas.

The Nord realized he was fawning over the Imperial in his thoughts and slammed his fist down on the end table out of frustration with himself. Everything went quiet and all the eyes in the room turned to Vilkas who was seething to himself; even those honey colored eyes were looking at him, which made the whole situation feel like he was dying. Vilkas yelled to help release some of his embarrassment and anger, before storming off to his room.

Vilkas laid face down on his bed, wishing the world would fade away or at least these feelings. He hated them. They were confusing and at times more painful than the call of the hunt. Questions and self loathing flew around his head like the moons moved around the world he lived on. He couldn't just tell him how he felt. It would make things strained or worse…He didn't want everyone knowing he was falling for a man, no one would respect him again; Gaius would hate him.

There was a quiet knock on his door; it just occurred to him that he didn't close the door behind him, "Go away, Farkas."

"Well good thing I'm not your brother," Vilkas recognized the voice as Gaius'.

"You can go away too," though that wasn't entirely true; part of Vilkas wanted him to stay.

"Save the brooding demeanor, what's eating you?" Gaius said.

Vilkas, turn over so he could look at them Imperial standing in his doorway, "Go away."

"Seriously, Vilkas, what's eating you? You have been like this for months now...I have noticed that's mostly when I am in the room. Did I do something to offend you?" the Imperial moved further into the room.

Vilkas sighed and sat up, "No lad, you didn't do anything to offend me. I have nothing against you."

Gaius looked at him puzzled, "Well if I haven't offended you, why do you go raging off…oh…wait you're not falling for me are you?" There was this wicked grin on the Imperials face.

Vilkas felt his cheeks heat up to the point he thought they might catch fire. His eyes opened wide like he saw a ghost, "Leave."

Gaius couldn't help the smile on his face from widening, "You are…you actually are."

Vilkas shot up and pointed to his door, "I said leave, damn it!"

Gaius' expression to one of sincerity, it caught the Nord off guard, "Vilkas, seriously…are you? I was joking, but…if you are…" His voice was quiet and he was inching towards Vilkas.

Vilkas' heart was beating wildly, could he tell him? Maybe he would feel better if get it off his chest? "I…I think I am…" there he admitted it; now it was up to Gaius.

The Imperial, moved closer to him to the point he was right against him. Vilkas could feel his hot breath on his skin; it made him shiver. Gaius lifted himself a bit so his lips were right next to Vilkas' ears. Vilkas' mind racing, unsure what he should do, or if he could even move.

"Vilkas," He whispers softly and tenderly, "You are disgusting."

Vilkas felt his heart stop and his body grow cold. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt like he was just stabbed in his heart, the pain in that area was strong enough he felt his eyes water. Vilkas can't remember the last time he felt like crying, it was embarrassing. He wanted to just burst into flame or fade away.

_He...why did he say that?_

Vilkas didn't understand, he seemed like he was going to accept his confession, he never felt more confused in his life. Pain, sorrow, and an anger so deep he couldn't get mad, or act, just stand there and let tears start to fall.

"I am not some butt loving…" Gaius started to say as he was walking out of the room. He was cut short when a muscular hand shoved his head into the door frame. The shriek made Vilkas break free of his paralyzation.

He recognized the bear fur armor and the scarred stout man that was under them as Orso, Gaius' older brother. They looked similar, but Orso was much bigger, he was almost like a Nord, and his eyes were a light hazel. Orso always scared Vilkas, though he never admitted it. The man's name meant bear, and by the gods, he was one. Fierce and brutal, but he spoke with a wisdom like Kodlak's, though, he never spoke much. His hair was unkempt and short and he always had an evening shadow on his face.

"I don't think you should continue that, boy." He said in his voice in the deep gravelly voice that could easily get men to bow to him.

Gaius nodded as best he could and ran off. Orso looked in at Vilkas standing there, his cheeks moist from the stray tears.

Orso walked in and closed the door as he did, "My pa always said 'real men cry, they just do it behind closed doors' well your door is closed so let it out," He said handing the Nord an ale, "And take this."

Vilkas took the ale and looked at the broad man with uncertainty. Orso took a seat on Vilkas' bed and popped the cork on his ale, and as if he could read the Nords mind, "My brother is an ass, and as cold hearted as the winter bite up in Winterhold," He took a swig of his drink before continuing, "I am sorry his act got to you. He is a daft one and doesn't care about how people might feel."

Vilkas just continued to stand there; fear that this was just another bad joke about to be played on him, "How much did you hear?"

Orso sighed and looked at Vilkas, "Enough to know he hurt you bad; now drink up. It won't make you feel better, but it will numb the pain."

"It doesn't repulse you?" Vilkas asked finally opening his ale and taking a drink.

Orso shrugged, "We don't always get to pick who we love, and it's a bloody curse when the one you love doesn't love you back."

"Yeah, but I admitted to having feelings for your brother, another man…"

The Imperial gave Vilkas a long hard look before he spoke, "So? Do you think it is repulsing too?"

Vilkas couldn't understand why someone like him was taking it so well. This man was a man among men! He was someone when you hear stories about him wrestling bears or saber cats you believed them, "A man should love women…not another man."

Orso shook his head, "I knew you would say that. A curse it is." He muttered.

Vilkas didn't understand, he tried to put the pieces to the puzzle forming in his head together. Then they started to fit together slowly but surely, "Orso… do you…"

"Like men? Yes, always have. Never cared much for the fairer sex; also, yes, I have feelings for you specifically. No I don't expect you to return them." Orso said calmly, like the topic didn't bother him.

"But…you…"

"Are not dainty like an elf? Nope. Look, lad, some things we just don't end up getting to pick in life, like, as I said, who we love. Now finish that ale and relax, read one of those books I always see you in. I will make sure Gaius keeps his mouth shut," Orso patted Vilkas on his back and made his way out of the room, "Thanks, lad, for not telling me I am disgusting."

Vilkas let the words sink in, let everything that just happen settle. He felt like he was in whirlwind and was just now starting to land. When he turned to answer Orso he was already gone and he was alone, "Thank you," He whispered into the empty room.


End file.
